In my experience coaching confidence, or the lack of it, is probably the most common element in developing aspiring people. Lack of confidence seems to be more prevalent in women, often resulting in them being less likely to go for certain jobs because they feel they do not have all of the capabilities shown in the advertisement. This is in direct contrast to many men who will ‘go for it anyway’. In saying that, many people from both sexes lack confidence and it can be difficult to open up and talk to your boss, especially if you want your boss to see you in the best possible light.
Having a chance to talk about confidence issues to a coach can therefore make a big difference especially if they haven’t felt able to talk about this to anybody else before.
I often use a petrol tank analogy saying that we have to keep topping up the ‘confidence fuel tank’. Many people don’t! They push away compliments instead of thanking people and simply letting the compliment seep into to their confidence tank. Without a coach many people don’t realise what they are doing.
Through using Prism Profiling (www.prismbrainmapping.com ) with people who work in the Insurance sector, I have noticed a trend (perhaps not surprisingly) that many of them fall into the Gold area which implies they are very good evaluators and experts in their own right. They like to be right and therefore tend to remember times when they weren’t right and can often find such criticism as identity attacks and build up a fear of rejection. At this point they may well allow such feelings to impact their ‘confidence fuel tanks’ and ultimately this can erode their internal levels of confidence.
So what can coaching do to help increase peoples levels of confidence? Coaching invites and nurtures self-awareness so that people can start to understand and recognise their patterns of behaviour. Once someone has this level of self-awareness they can then choose to do something about it. Choice is key.
As my coaching programmes normally last 6 months we can keep assessing how well coachees are doing with their change in behaviour and the impact this is having on their confidence.
I might suggest coachees read the excellent book “Feel the fear and do it anyway” by the late Susan Jeffers. Link to Amazon, to buy Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway
Every coaching session is different and tailored to the coachee and it really helps people achieve what they want. Without confidence people have a mountain to climb and often don’t attempt to go for what they really want. With coaching and confidence they can climb that mountain.